Repeat Peen Offenders

Haven’t blogged in a while and trust me when I say it was absolutely for the best. I have so many drafts just sitting right now on my dashboard. I couldn’t form coherent thoughts that wouldn’t be labeled as incriminating so I’ve been chilliln.

Welp, the chill is off.

So I was watching one of my favorite staged reality court shows, Divorce Court, when I stumbled upon this gem. This negrum, who is 39, got on National TV and proudly proclaimed that he has 27 kids and 17 baby mamas. In one year he had 5 chicks pregnant at the same damn time. So he has 5 children who are the exact same age. I was disgusted but sadly not shocked.

Why wasn’t it shocking, you ask? Let’s not forget these upstanding gentlemen here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2159476/Tennessees-deadbeat-dads-The-men-81-children-46-different-women–theyre-paying-child-support-them.html

Personally I don’t date men with more than 2 children’s mothers. Obviously I’m ok with 1 mother. I can understand that things may have not worked out with that one and you thought you found your match in another, so there was a 2nd mother. I get that. But once you hit 3 and up then clearly you are just horrible at decision-making and have little to no regard for your personal health. It is totally inconceivable to me how a man can approach a woman and say he has 20+ kids and 16 baby mamas and she actually pursues something with him.

Are y’all really that hard up?!

Let’s run down just why dating a chronic peen slinger is a bad idea:

1) A dude with that many kids doesn’t believe in using protection. And clearly he breeds with females who don’t believe in using protection. In fact, the amount of kids is just a mere fraction of the total number of women who he raw’d who DIDN’T have his babies. He’s a category CRIMSON for STD’s. He has no problem having unprotected sex so has no regard for his own health, so he obviously doesn’t’ get regularly health screens.

2) I understand that relationships don’t work out. I get it. That’s why I can understand 2 different mothers. But once you hit 3 and up, then it’s clear that you are just irresponsible and don’t give a fuck who you release your man milk inside. This spills over into all of the other aspects in your life. If you aren’t responsible about creating human life, then clearly I can’t trust that you will be responsible in all of the other aspects of your life.

3) Why in the hell would I want to be with someone who has 12 baby mamas and has never been married? It’s even worse if you have multiple babies by multiple women and you weren’t in committed serious relationships with any of them! This lets me know what your intentions are with me. If you can get 20 women pregnant and just keep moving on, why would I be the exception? Your resume speaks for itself.

4) DRAMA! DRAMA! DRAMA! Oh and did I mention, DRAMA! I don’t like extra people in my relationship. I understand that there is a certain level of interaction and civility that will have to occur when a man has a child with a woman. This becomes more complicated when there are 2 different women. It’s not impossible, but the level of complication does increase. Now once you hit 3, 4, 18 baby mamas, your life with him just turns into one non-stop episode of Love & Hip hop ATL. Unless you are dealing with Tip or Wayne, there is no possible way for that many women to get along maturely, not still have feelings for him, and be emotionally stable and co-parent responsibly. NO…FUCKING….WAY! When he has several BM’s you are in a relationship with him and all of his children’s mothers. Prank calls, social network stalking, unexpected “visits” to your job, property vandalizing, and brainwashed, unruly kids who were taught to not listen to you by their mothers. Yep, that’s your life.

5) I hate deadbeats and I’m currently dealing with this issue. I am repulsed by the notion of men who father children and have little to no involvement in their upbringing. There is no way that a man with 27 kids can be a “good father”. It’s hard enough raising one child, but once you need a church van to transport all of your kids, it’s damn near impossible by anyone’s standards to refer to yourself as a good father. This is enhanced more when they are scattered across the state and country. You aren’t adequately parenting these kids because you can’t split yourself into however many children you have and spend equal time with them all. You can’t be at all of their school events. You can’t tuck each one in and read to them. You can’t kiss all of their boo-boos. You can’t pick them all up when they are sick. You can’t be that strong, male figure and make them all feel loved when you have a child in every got damn state!

6) Obviously when a man has a village of children, he will never have money. Between child support and other expenses involving child care, he will always be struggling. You will always have to support him and his credit will probably be shitty. And to revisit #4, there will be some bitter BM’s who will do everything in their power to get him locked up, increase his child support, or suck him dry just because they are mad that you are in his life. So now you have a dude with a criminal record, limited career options, chronic brokeness and permanent ties to bitter demons who feed off of his misery and yours.

7) You have to be mentally disabled to believe that a man with 30 kids with 17 mothers isn’t STILL smashing at least 9 of them. Especially if the kids are young because that tie is still fresh. Further, he always has an excuse to cheat and lie. He can always just say that he was with of his 30 children. If you need to question why this is a problem, please revisit #1 and #4 on the aforementioned list.

STOP RIGHT HERE! OH NO YOU WON’T! Females, you aren’t about to just glide on off of this post feeling all self-righteous whilst you get ready to bash your “sorry baby daddy”. Let me make it very clear. The females in these cases are EQUALLY as deplorable as the peen slingers.

I’m not a fan of the generalization of ALL single mothers that the childless and married love to make. Everyone’s story is different. Some of us were duped. Some were good guys who just flaked out. Some had no other children so you don’t have any knowledge that he could have “done the same” to you. Some got divorced. Some lost the other parent to death. So yes, there are exceptions.

That said, you can’t go around talking shit about your “deadbeat baby daddy” when you accepted the fact that he told you from the jump that he had SEVERAL children. You made the decision to have unprotected sex with a man who already has multiple baby mamas and wasn’t married to ANY of them. You see that he had babies with all these women and walked away from them, so how can you possibly believe you are the exception?!

We all know how sex works. If you have unprotected sex, you might get pregnant. There is a plethora of FREE resources available to prevent or end pregnancy. When you have a baby with a man who isn’t your husband (hell sometimes even then too) you need to ask yourself if you are able to raise that child on your own. Regardless of what the dad says, there’s always a chance that he will walk away, leaving you and your child on your own.

If he tells you he has an army of kids with several different women but you continue to let him shoot his man milk inside of you, then you are just as much to blame for his carelessness and population increasing efforts as he is. You are not allowed to bash him because you knew better.

You saw with your own eyes that he wasn’t taking care of his 27 kids, yet you laid up with him anyway, became baby mother #28, and have now begun singing the deadbeat song as if you weren’t made aware of his total absenteeism with his other children. It was fine for you to get involved with him because “his kids weren’t your problem” but now that the same has happened to you, you are somehow awestruck.

Stop taking up company with these wayward peen slingers who just add to our steady failing community. It should be a turn off to any decent woman if a man has that many kids, was never married, and to top it off, neglects them.

Men will fuck anything with a hole but as a woman, you are in control of your vagina. It speaks more on the character of the women who continue to have babies with these sperm shooters than it does the men themselves. The fact that you knew about all the kids means that you have little to no self-respect. The fact that you agreed to join his baby mama stable when you took no birth control measures renders you as “just another” in his book. You can’t go around crying after you’ve burned yourself when you were told not to touch the stove and there was a glaring red warning siren that told you not to touch it.

These are just my thoughts and my preferences. So if you have 3 or more baby mamas, please don’t attempt to tell me your story or argue your case…I don’t care….I just don’t care. You take care of all of them? Great. All of the BMs get along and you have no drama. Super. You still are able to live comfortably. Kudos. My opinions and preferences are unwavering so you will just be wasting characters.

I don’t care. Besides, I’m a Martian. Considering the fact that at one point the running count for baby mothers was 1 digit lower than it was when he met every BM before the last, it’s quite clear that many females don’t share my views. So don’t get all butt hurt at me because although it’s repulsive to me, peaches, teetee, and herpesha don’t give a fuck.

 

My Awkward Ass. Entry 1

Ok, so I briefly considering making this an entire separate blog by itself then I quickly dismissed that. It’s hard enough keeping up with this ONE blog which has my old blog linked to it.

Anyways, this is something that I will do regularly. I realized that though I consider my life mundane and unbearable at times, other people would probably be entertained by my day-to-day antics. In particular, my chronic awkwardness.

I look pretty and put together but truth be told, I’m quite clumsy and awkward. The latter of those 2 is often unnoticed because over the years I’ve become quite skilled at developing techniques to hide or diminish my faux pas. I decided to start documenting just some of the foolery that takes places daily…most times occurring OFTEN throughout the day.

This happened almost everyday last week and so far 2 days THIS week.

Ok, so it’s no secret I call myself “the Martian” and it’s for good reason. I get so lost in my own loud ass thoughts that I can actually look straight at someone and not see or hear them. I’m so wrapped up in the consuming and terrifying shit in my brain that when someone suddenly comes up to me asking me shit, it’s like waking up someone who is sleep walking. So because I’m startled but trying to appear professional and normal, when it’s time for me to actually let words leave my mouth, they just do what they want.

I was just saying shit that wasn’t even making sense to ME. It was one of those moments where you were talking but actually hearing the dumb shit you were saying whilst SAYING IT and it’s too late to try to correct it because it would just make you sound even MORE rididulous….Yeah. Welcome to my life as of late….

 

So here’s what happened at the concert this weekend…

So this weekend I had the pleasure of being in the company of my love, my favorite rapper, my obsession, my muse for lustiness, and my imaginary fiancé…Tip. You people call him T.I. Oh, and apparently lil wayne was there too. It was the America’s Most Wanted tour. I found out 2 Chainz was going to be in the lineup, which was a plus because I like him. Honestly, all I NEED is to see Tip on the ticket and I’m there. I actually bought these tickets a few months in advance. Specifically, 17 minutes after Live Nation posted them online for sale.

As expected it was crowded. I can’t lie, I was taken aback by just how crowded it was. It was like a sea of people at the ampitheather. When I looked behind me, that’s when I realized our seats were pretty good by comparison.

There was the usual ratchetry which I expected when I discovered that Power 98 had declared the concert to be “Summer fest”. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this event, it’s an annual coon festival that happens every summer. Usually rappers come down specifically for summer fest. The rappers include the likes of boosie, yo gotti, crime mob, waka flocka, etc. So as you can imagine, the crowd consists of young kids, hoodrats, felons, and any other possible unsavory characters who you wouldn’t want living near you.

I prayed from seat and asked God to bind the evil forces at that show. I admit that I watch the illuminati videos about these celebs for entertainment. Most
I made it my business to steer clear of summer fest for as long as I’ve heard of it. Unfortunately, this declaration that the tour would be summer fest didn’t occur until AFTER I had purchased my tickets. Again, I’m here for Tip, so I dealt with it.

Despite my degrees, academic excellence, and overall genius, for some strange and stupid reason, I had no idea that I would be outside at the amphitheater…yes. I thought I would be inside….THE AMPITHEATRE. Judge me.

I was sweating like a charcoal skinned field slave and feeling more flustered with each step. The set up reminded me of an amusement park because people were buzzing all over the place.

In the bathroom whilst trying to wipe up the torrential downpour of sweat that was trying to make me unjiggy, a hysterical white girl stumbled in. Her words, and I quote “OMG. There’s so many black people!”….Yes. At a concert starring Tip, lil wayne, and 2 chainz called “america’s most wanted” and also “summer fest”, she was hysterical that there were so many black people there. The bathroom was crowded and there were black people there. Two other white girls, who Idk if they even knew her, were trying to console her. One asked, “do you have your wallet? Did someone try to rob you?”. I left shortly thereafter.

So anyways, the show was incredible. Tip killed it, as usual. I found myself lost a few times in a cloud of lust because I knew he was talking directly to me. He was full of energy. Kept the crowd hype. Tip came and showed OUT. I expected nothing less than the sheer perfection, brilliance, beauty, and awesomeness from Tip.

2 Chainz did a couple songs that he was featured on. He didn’t perform any solo songs which was slightly disappointing but, mehh. I was there for Tip.

Then there was wayne…

*sigh*
Ok, so it’s no secret. I don’t particularly care for lil wayne. Ok…I hate lil wayne. I like some of his songs but not him. I used to rock with him up until 2008-ish but as of late, I hate his music, his message, his image, his life…However, my love for Tip is so strong that it nearly broke the scale when I was weighing my options.

Anyways, I will say that lil wayne put on a good show. I sat for most of it, but it was good. It was also mildly horrifying. Here’s what happened:

1) First wayne had red lights illuminating his set. The lighting was ominous and dark.
2) His face….that in itself was terrifying because it was on the Mega Screen…*shudders*
3) At one point, whilst the DJ was playing a set of older wayne songs while he changed backstage or popped more molly, he went into a loop of “666”….it wasn’t a part of a song. It had nothing to do with ANYTHING related to the show….He just stopped the DJ set to play “666” repeatedly. Then wayne came back on stage.
4) there were images in the back while lil wayne performed that looked like tortured people
5) then there were images behind lil wayne which showed him transforming into a demon…HORRIFYING!

So after wayne’s random acts of evil, I actually prayed to myself. That’s how disturbed I was by what I saw and heard. I watch the hip hop illuminati video for enjoyment. It’s a secret guilty pleasure of mine. Most of the things are so ridiculous that they are hilarious. However, there are a few points made that do in fact make you pause and question it. Lil wayne has been consistent with delivering questionable acts that are outright blasphemous and weird. Having now been exposed to a live lil wayne show, it makes it really hard to ignore those evil, satanic agenda rumors.

Anyway, we make it out alive which apparently is something worthy of celebration as I discovered there was an altercation after the show and someone was stabbed to death. There wasn’t any violence or threat of violence that we actually witnessed before, during, or after the show so I was shocked. This stabbing now makes sense because as we were pulling out of the parking lot, there was an ambulance fighting to get through.

So there’s the after party…

I make it my business to see Tip every time he comes to Charlotte. Cameo is now the place where celebs come apparently. The setup is perfect because I’m literally directly in front of Tip and able to stroke his legs at my leisure. So the after party with Tip is to be held at Cameo and is free all night long.

Again, selective hearing. All I heard was “Tip” and “free”. I completely neglected the fact that “free” “Cameo” and “Tip” could potentially bring an unsavory crowd. This became evidentially clear as we fought our way to find a parking space just so we could hike back up to Cameo. The crowd was so large, the club had golf carts shuttling lucky pedestrians to and from the lots.
We get to building after wondering why it seemed like sooooo many people were leaving. Cameo operates as a strip club so it’s open until 5 or 6. We assumed people were just partied out. Anyways, we wait in the line, which never moved. It only moved when people got tired of waiting.

In the line and on the way there are multitudes of unsavory, ghetto, hoodrat, badly built, cheap, young, loud, dirty, and sloppy drunk/high negrums. Loud hoodrats cursing and drunk behind us. Drunk and high bums in front of us with grills and dirty fingernails.

So wayne’s entourage came out of nowhere and was let in the side door behind us. Then we heard something about Tip’s manager trying to get in. Idk. I got excited when I heard “Tip”. Even though at the time he was posting Instagram pics of him chillin with his kids in the tour bus.

So roughly 10 minutes later we see that same side door fly open and there’s a scuffle. Some negrum is pushed out by security. He’s cursing and cutting up. Then a couple minutes later he’s kicking on that door. Using nearby pallets and other wood pieces to bang on it. At this point all of us crowded AWAY from him and kinda mashed up closer to the front. Then…he said that magical 3-letter word that is powerful enough to pry me away from my Tip.

My hatred for lil wayne didn’t stop me. My avoidance of summer fest didn’t stop me. My intense hatred of negrums period didn’t stop me. My lack of sleep didn’t stop me. The fact that the line was ridiculously long and unmoving didn’t stop me. None of this stopped me from seeing Tip. But this negrum said the one word that DID stop me….”GUN”. Yes. This negrum said he was going to his trunk and was going to come back with a gun and see who would pop shit then…WELP! PARTY OVER! So, as if God Himself was trying to just reiterate why we are making a good decision by leaving, after we heard “gun”, another random fight breaks out toward the front of the line.

Never again will I attempt to attend a venue that is free and typically caters to people who would end up on WorldStar. Of course there was going to be a large group of hoods…the shit was free all night long!!! Being that Cameo is a strip club, that element in itself encourages the hood. I’ve never had a problem with the crowd because every time I’ve gone to see Tip there, I paid for tickets. The crow of people who pay $60 and up versus the free crowd is vastly different!

All in all, it was a dope weekend. However, I plan to never in the history of life attend anything marketed as “summer fest” or any celeb after party that is “free all night”. The end.

 

As if I needed another reason to NOT ride these things…

http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/national_world&id=9179265

Eyewitness News
ARLINGTON, Texas — A German roller coaster maker is sending officials to a North Texas amusement park to inspect a ride after a woman fell to her death.

Tobias Lindnar, a project manager for Gerstlauer Amusement Rides in Munsterhausen, Germany, told The Dallas Morning News that the company will investigate what led to Friday’s fatal accident at Six Flags Over Texas in Arlington.

Witnesses said the woman expressed concern about the Texas Giant roller coaster’s safety bar not completely engaging as the ride was starting. The coaster is touted as the tallest steel-hybrid roller coaster in the world.

“I’m sure there’s no safety bar that is broken,” Lindnar told the newspaper by phone Saturday night from Germany.

Lindnar said Gerstlauer has never had problems with car safety bars on any of the roughly 50 roller coasters it’s built around the world over the past 30 years.

“We will be on site and we will see what has happened,” he said.

Park spokeswoman Sharon Parker confirmed in a statement Saturday that the victim died while riding the 14-story Texas Giant, but wouldn’t give specifics about what happened. Arlington Police Sgt. Christopher Cook told The Associated Press on Saturday that police believe the woman fell from the ride and that there appeared to have been no foul play.

Arlington police have referred information about the woman’s identity to the medical examiner’s office in Tarrant County, which hadn’t disclosed her name as of Sunday night and didn’t respond to phone messages left by the AP.

Lindnar wouldn’t address the hydraulic bar’s operation or whether park employees should be able to determine if a person’s body is too close to the front of the train car to prevent the bar from being effective.

“At this time I don’t want to speak about the technicals,” he said. “It’s not so easy. It’s some special equipment.”

But he said once the ride began, there was no chance of opening the safety bar.

“We are committed to determining the cause of this tragic accident and will utilize every resource throughout this process,” Parker said in her statement. “It would be a disservice to the family to speculate regarding what transpired.”

Police, fire and emergency medical services responded to the park around 6:45 p.m. Friday after calls about a woman who fell from a car while riding a roller coaster. She was pronounced dead at the scene.

Texas Department of Insurance spokesman Jerry Hagins told the AP on Sunday that Six Flags was in compliance with state regulations requiring amusement ride operators to have $1 million liability insurance on each ride and provide proof of an annual safety inspection by a certified engineer.

Six Flags received a state-issued sticker, like an auto inspection sticker, for the Texas Giant in February. Hagins said the ride now will remain closed until it’s inspected again and certified to be safe.

“It’s the ride owner’s responsibility to keep it closed, to fix it, then prove to us that it’s safe to start back up again,” he said. “If for some reason they can’t figure it out, no safety inspector is going to sign off on it.”

Because no foul play is suspected, police are not involved in the investigation, officials said.

The ride first opened in 1990 as an all-wooden coaster and underwent a $10 million renovation to install steel-hybrid rails and reopened in 2011. It can carry up to 24 people.

(Copyright ©2013 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Ok, so I’m a thug. A fearless one at that. But I must admit, ever since Final Destination 3, I haven’t really been too eager to get on roller coasters. One summer in Atlanta my sister had season passes. We went to 6 flags so many times that summer that I actually managed to ride ever coaster and damn near every ride in the park. One summer in Maryland, me and my cousin rode ever coaster at King’s Dominion. Somewhere between then and now, my dare devil, fearless flame has been doused.

The last rollercoaster I rode was at Carowinds. Interestingly enough, I didn’t know it at the time, but I was carrying Bean. I was only a few weeks according to my ObGyn so there was no damage done thank God. But it’s still mildly horrifying knowing that I was riding every roller coaster in the park whilst carrying a mini version of myself in my womb.

Nonetheless, I’ve developed an aversion to coasters. I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist. And as a realist, I’m inclined to look at everything from a REALISTIC POV. I don’t care about statistics and probability and logic. MY REALITY tells me that I am that .5%. I am the exception to the rule. If it can go wrong, it probably will…with me. So I am horribly afraid that if I choose to get back on a coaster, I will be the one to have some freak accident. Articles like this just reinforce this fear of mine.

I prefer to enjoy amusement parks by eating and staying as close to land as possible. I’m at an age where I don’t have anything to prove to anyone. You can call me what you want, but I can bet you won’t be reading about me in articles like the one above.
Funnel Cakes and Turkey legs on a shaded bench vs. random seat discharge at 70mph on a 79ft drop….Yeah.

 

Monster Rant

One of those…..it’s gone be one of those nights…..

Have any of y’all actually felt like you could kill someone? I’m not talking about the “I’m so mad I can kill him/her”. Oh no. I’m talking about verbally proclaiming that you want this individual to die. Then you go further and begin to mentally start the process of planning their murder. You watch Discovery ID religiously and realize that you could plan and execute the perfect murder. All those forensic shows have taught you exactly what not to do to and how to not get detected. You know that because you know this person’s routine and mannerisms, you could easily catch them at the perfect moment. You know the poisons that are undetectable. You know which location on their body you can inject so the autopsy won’t reveal the foreign puncture marks. You know to incorporate the method casually into their routine. You know that they are so stupid they won’t even notice that their car has been tampered with.They wouldn’t notice something slightly off about their favorite drink. You know that they wouldn’t ever feel the slightest bit threatened by you so family and friends would never even mention you as a suspect once their “strange death” becomes publicized. You know to leave no paper trails and periodically destroy any possible connection that could tie you into it. You start smiling when you think about getting away with their murder. You imagine the sheer joy that would fill your body as soon as you plummet that knife straight through their mutherfucking heart and slowwwwwwwllllly pull it back out…then twist it clockwise, then counterclockwise, then another slow pull out.

Do any of y’all ever think about that?…..Yeah Me, neither….

 

So NOW you recognize that there is a problem? Really??!

I won’t sit here and pretend to be a revolutionist nor will I make this a “race thing” per se, even though it’s extremely difficult not to.

The video I posted is of the Hawthorne Police Department shooting a dog to death. Here’s a summary of what happens: Apparently the dog’s owner was trying to get video footage of a police standoff or something. Two heavily armed officers noticed this, had some sort of verbal exchange from afar, then went to arrest him for recording the standoff. The man put his dog in the car and peacefully assumed the position so he could be handcuffed and arrested. The dog is hysterical at seeing his owner appearing to be under attack. He jumped out of the car and barked at the cops. Cops shot the dog to death. Mass hysteria and outrage follow.

Now, I’ll admit that I’m not an advocate of animal rights and I’m probably one of the few people in the world who doesn’t feel a single iota of emotion at those SPCA commercials with that suicide music playing. That said, I don’t condone animal violence but it’s not anywhere near my list of egregious life atrocities worthy of outrage.

I’ve often joked with some of my friends and associates that in America, the judicial system is tougher on those who hurt animals vs someone who actually murders a human being. Well America, my candid commentary has once again been proven correct.

I don’t have the time nor energy to list even a fraction of all of the cases, both reported and unreported, of police brutality and injustice. Hell, the LAPD by itself has countless cases of wrongdoing against actual humans. Sure there have been short-lived action calls and fake outrage but those flames die out rather quickly. A dog is shot to death and there are thousands of videos, petitions, and all kinds of public outcries for justice. Seriously?!

Nevermind the thousands that died or were injured from police brutality. Nevermind the permanent emotional and psychological damage that the victims and families of victims have to endure after said occurrences of injustice. Those cases pale in comparison to the horrific travesty of a dog being shot to death. NOW the people are ready to address police brutality.

Hate to offend all you die-hard animal rights nazis, but on my hierarchy of social issues, human life ALWAYS takes precedence over animal life. That’s why I’m not moved by those damn sappy animal abuse commercials. Animals can survive in the wilderness. There is no such thing as a homeless animal…THEY’RE FCKING ANIMALS! They have to be domesticated so they won’t try to eat you in your sleep! Humans, on the other hand, actually need resources to survive in life.

I think the Michael Vick trial was one of the most telling displays of how the judicial system views animal rights vs human rights. Police brutality has been a major issue for decades. Why is the majority JUST NOW realizing this after a dog was shot to death?! What about the hundreds, maybe even thousands who lost their lives at the hands of police corruption and brutality? Where are their videos? Where are their petitions? Where is their news media coverage?

I shouldn’t be shocked though. After all, this IS the country where someone can receive a tougher jail sentence for non-violent crimes over those who actually take lives.